What I Want
Hello everyone. If you’re reading this, I’d like to express my gratitude for being interested in this blog. I hope this blog will be entertaining for you, and I will try my best to always provide you good stories all the time. I’m sorry because this blog post will be quite long as I will be explaining a little bit on why I’m starting this blog.
I love writing, fiction stories especially. It is something that I’ve always loved to do. At first, I just wrote stories just for fun. Imagining a world that you can alter however you want is extremely fun and exciting. Whenever I have an idea, I just write it down and develop it into a story. Sometimes I finish the stories, sometimes I don’t (mostly did not finish). Either way, I never share my stories with anyone.
But now, I have a dream I want to pursue, I have a goal that I want to achieve, so I decided to create this blog for various reasons which will enable me to take the first step towards a future that I want.
My Goals and Dream
My dream is… to just write a story, tell a story that I want, that’s it. I went to a filmmaking school and people always ask me the same things.
“Do you want to be the best director/scriptwriter ever?”
“Do you want to win the Oscars one day?”
“Do you want to make the best story/film in history?”
Well, they don’t actually ask that exact question (I paraphrased a bit), but their questions are basically something similar. Do I want to be the best? The answer is…
I don’t.
I don’t want to be the best, I don’t want to win any award, and I definitely don’t want to write the ‘best’ story. I just want to tell the stories that I want to tell. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to improve myself towards producing good stories. I love writing more than any award, so of course, I will try to make the ‘best’ story I can produce. What is ‘this story’ that I want to tell? I can’t tell you that yet, simply because it’s not finished. When I was in my teenage years, I had an idea, and I started writing, trying to develop it into a story, but the truth hurts because the story was a very bad story. It is a very long story which I don’t even know if I can finish it, but I keep writing it, hopefully developing it into a better story. It is a story which I hope one day can be turned into the big screen for billions of people to watch.
My Challenges
Every dream comes with its challenges; otherwise, it’s not a dream. Sadly, I have quite a lot of challenges.
1. Life
That one is no surprise to anyone. All of us have a dream, have ‘somewhere’ that we want to go to, but life keeps pulling us back in, trapping us, not allowing us to break free. I have to dedicate a lot of my time to working, so I can pay my bills this month, just to continue working to pay my next month’s bills, over and over. The vicious cycle that most of us are trapped in.
2. Myself
What do I mean by that? Well, myself is also a challenge on its own. Firstly, English is not my first language. I don’t consider myself in the advanced category in English, which is a big challenge if you have too big of a dream, trying to write stories for the whole wide world using the universal language that you’re not even good at. Just to clarify, I can say that I’m ‘alright’ at English. I speak English every day at work. But to compare it with the language for literature, I cannot say I’m good at that. Of course, I can still go to university and just study English, literature; not that hard, right? Well…we have to go back to the first point, LIFE. In a nutshell, I just can’t really spend a few years studying while still juggling with work to pay my bills.
Second, I’m not an author. As I mentioned, I studied filmmaking. I would consider myself more of a filmmaker than an author. When I write stories, I usually do it like writing a screenplay, just like what I’ve learned in film school. I do have plans to write books and publish them in the future, but I don’t want to offend the other ‘real’ authors who studied how to write books properly by putting me in the same category as them. So, this blog will be my ‘training ground’, practicing to improve myself over time.
Third, I don’t want to be famous. Yup, that’s weird right? Especially in this modern world where everyone wants attention, wants people to look at them, following them on every single social media platform. In order to share my stories, I have to be known to the people so I have to be ‘famous’. The reason why is I simply just want to live a simple life. I don’t like to use social media too much, don’t even remember when was the last time I posted a picture on Instagram. Another reason is something that I told myself when I started my writing hobby. I want people to know my stories, not me. I want people to watch my movies if I ever make one because the stories are interesting to them, not because there is my name on the posters. This challenge is something that I have to surrender early on.
3. Opportunity
Everyone who tries to enter the film industry knows how difficult it is. Even more difficult to make your own story/film in the industry. It is always about money. I thought of taking out a personal loan to make an independent short film to make myself known in the industry so maybe one day somehow someone wants to produce my story. But it is too much of a risk for me to take. Sometimes you hear these stories about people who risked it all to get what they want, but they’re just a few that succeed, over a million others who failed. At this point in my life, I just cannot take that risk. Which is why I decided to start this blog, trying to create that ‘opportunity’, to turn my story into theaters near you.
My Plan Moving Forward
My plan currently is to deliver short stories for you consistently in this blog. Eventually, I will try to publish long stories in the form of books. I will do something that I always want to do, which is producing short films consistently, and hopefully maybe I can produce a feature-length movie in the future. If you’re wondering, “Where is this ‘story’ that you want to tell so badly?” I don’t know as well when I can tell that story. My plan is to turn the story into a few seasons with 10 or more episodes in a season. The story is very complicated as well, too even for me to write. I had the idea a long time ago, but I was too dumb at that age to develop the story. When I read what I wrote I keep wanting to quit knowing how terrible I was. The way I developed the story was so terrible and it is embarrassing for me to even read it. Until one day, I discovered Attack on Titan, a very popular anime, which is kind of similar to this story that I want to write. If you know the story of the anime, you know how difficult to develop that kind of story. This ‘one story’ mostly inspired by Attack on Titan and many others, they inspired me in many ways on how I should develop this story. They opened up my eyes, letting me see the way to turn my terrible first draft into a final story that I can be proud of. For now, this blog will be my entire focus. I will keep moving forward, a step at a time until I can take that final step, reaching this silly dream that I have.
My Message For You
I hope you can watch me (or should I say ‘read’ me) taking this first step until the end. I hope you can enjoy my stories, as I’m still learning to write ‘better’ stories for you. I hope you can just forget about your life for a short while, and just entertain yourself, reading these stories that I wrote. And I just want to say, THANK YOU for being here.
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