Untitled Chapter 1 - Behind The Story

 

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     That's how I start my writing sometime. Just slamming the keyboard. I have thousands of ideas in my head but i struggle to start actually writing the stories, all the time. The culprit? My own brain.

    I used to think that THINKING is normal. Everyone does it, everyone thinks. But I found out that apparently most people don't really think. Let me explain.

    When I lay in bed trying to sleep, I keep thinking on how to overtake the world, how to rule the world, HOW TO DESTROY THE WORLD!!!

    A bit extreme, but that's just some example. Most of the time, it's more like what to do tomorrow, why does my cat keeps showing her butt to me, why men have nipples, like seriously why? Basically mundane stuff that keeps my brain functioning, not resting when it's already 1AM and I need to wake up early for work tomorrow. But it's not just when I'm trying to sleep.

    In the train, in the office, walking from my desk to the toilet, waiting for the red light to turn green, EVERYTIME, EVERYWHERE! My brain never stops working. It keeps functioning until finally it tires itself and I can finally fall asleep.

    But one of my friend said to me, "How hard is it to sleep? Just close your eyes."

    "OMG! I never thought of that. WOW, you're a genius." I thought to myself, I didn't really say that. But when I ask "How do you stop thinking before sleep?" she got confused. Turns out, in her head is just quiet. All the time, just quite. She only thinks when she want to thinks.

    Anyway, I overthink too much. I overthink of everything. When I have an idea for a story, I keep thinking of it, developing it in my head, over and over but I never able to actually properly develop the story in writing. I write the starts of the story, then suddenly I'm thinking of the ending of the story so I started writing that, than an idea of a random scene appears in my mind, so I start writing that, in the end, I never really finished the story. Sometimes when I'm writing Story A, suddenly I'm thinking of Story B, and then C, D, E, but after a few hours passed, none of the stories was done.

    In my stories folder, I have so many, SO MANY, story that I haven't finished. Too many ideas that sadly never fully developed. I heard some writers work best this way-they think of ideas, pieces by pieces and then eventually every pieces connects like Jigsaw puzzle, and then they can see the whole story which make the writing process easier. While some people like to start from the start towards the ending. One sentence at a time, and develop their stories in a linear pattern. Beginning to the end. To be honest, I'm more of the former. Even though I struggle at it, I enjoy it the most and will help me develop the story to it's best possible version.

    But right now, I want to try the latter. In this series, Behind The Story, I will try to write a story, a chapter at a time, without any planning, without any thinking. I just want to let my thoughts flow and hopefully, I will have a full, FINISHED, story I can publish.

    In this BTS (Behind The Story of course, not Behind The Scene), I will try to to 'transcribe' the voice in my head, writing my ideas, writing my thoughts, and brainstorming the story. No more thinking, just write.

    (P:s; I doubt anyone would be interested reading this series. It's actually for myself, forcing myself to actually put my thoughts into words, but if you're actually reading these,  I don't know what else to say than THANK YOU.)

 

UNTITLED CHAPTER 1

 

     Untitled. That's it. That's the title. I'm not thinking too much into it and let's turn Untitled into a story, not that this story doesn't have a title yet and will have title soon. (Does that even make sense?)

    Let's try to write freely without any guideline, template, etc. Okayyyyy........................... what now?

    Let's start with the logline, then a short synopsis and the main characters' name. Simple stuffs.

LOGLINE:

A young man is on a mission to protect himself ....... from himself ..... from the future.

SYNOPSIS:

A group of friends, who are now busy with their own life, working hard trying to make a living only to face the reality of the world where nothing goes on like they expected. But a second chances appears where they got transported to their past and they can interact with their younger self. With this opportunity, they try to guide their younger selves to make correct choices in life, hoping they achieve the future they desire.

MAIN CHARACTER 

Ben, Mia, Rafi, Sara, Lim

     (As i was writing those, i realize that this series will be a spoiler to the story but then i remembered that no one will read these anyway, phew.)

     I got this idea yesterday when i was about to sleep, (it's already the next day when i continue writing these). For the names, i just thought of a few random name. The logline doesn't match with the synopsis but you will understand when i write more of the story. I'm not sure if this idea has been done but i personally believe nothing is original anymore, everyone inspire each other, so i'll just develop the story without thinking too much about being original. For me, the 'idea' of a story doesn't have to be original but how you tell the story is what matters. Without further ado, let's begin.

P;s: I actually don't know what to do here. Do i just start writing here, or just type random scene ideas here or just talk about anything i want. (I didn't think this far ahead) So i'll just write my treatment and develop my story here. If you see many inconsistency with this treatment and the final story, maybe i change some things while writing the story, just bear that in mind. And if you wondering why i write using treatment rather than an outline, i'm more of a screenwriter than a novelist, i don't know, that's just how i work. Check out my very first post, WHAT I WANT, to know more about me.

 

 

1.  Int. Train Station. Day

    The battle is about to begin. Every salaryman, understand this moment, this battle. On the train platform, they are getting ready. Ben is one of them, taking a deep breath, preparing for the incoming train. When the intercom lady can be heard announcing that the train is arriving, crowd of people begin to form in front of the gates. Ben who is already standing for a few minutes in front of the gate, got annoyed when a guy who comfortably sit while waiting before cut in front of him. There are no lines and all of them are fighting to get the front spots.

    The train arrived, the door opened, and people are flocking in trying to get a seat before anyone else. Ben joins the fight and sees a seat but before he can make a move, someone took it. He sees another one, also taken in an instant, then he sees another one and he try his hardest to reach it, only to be pushed by the crowd towards the other side of the train. He's face got squeezed to the door mirror and he slowly turns himself and sees a funny, familiar face of Mia and Sara, also got their face squeezed against the door next to him.

    Before he can say anything to her, he feels a tap on his shoulder and he turns his head to see another familiar face. Lim and Rafi's faces are very close to his face that he tries his hardest to back away in order to not accidentally kiss any of them.

    In the meantime, at the train door, the Pusher begins their job. They push people inside, trying to squeeze as many people in. Because of that, Ben's lip is very close to Rafi's lip.

 

I'm thinking of starting this story in a funny way. I'm not sure if you can imagine it, but i got this funny scene in my head, fully edited, with sound effects and even bgm - when will there be a technology where we can project what we're imagining like a projector or something, that would be easier. Also, i learned somewhere that in Japan i think, they have people employed to push people into the train during rush hour.

 

This is a quick drawing i made on how the scene would looks like before the title screen.

 2. Title Screen

3. Int. Train Station. Day.

    The train finally stops at Ben's station. He manages to squeeze out of the crowded train. Suddenly he heard his name being called. He turns and sees a hand poking out, reaching out to him. It's Mia, struggling to get out. People entering should have given way for the people going out but they don't, making it hard for Mia. The beeping sound suddenly ringing, indicating that the door will be closed soon. Ben grabs her hand and pulls her hard and finally she manages to get out. After gathering their breath and checking the clock, confirming that they already late, they both leave the station.

4. Ext. Sidewalks, Business Center. Day

    Both of them, running through other people, heading to their offices. When they enter the business center, finally they split, Ben goes to the right and Mia to the other side, to their own office.

5. Int. Office. Day

     Ben enter his office and smoothly approach his desk and turning on his computer. But before he can sit, his manager calls him for a meeting. He's scared of being scolded again but he got no other choice but to follow her.

6. Int. Meeting room. Day

    He's surprise to learn that she's actually wants to talk about work, not scolding him for being late again. She actually even compliment him on his work for their latest sales pitch which she inform him, was just approved by the higher-up. He exits the meeting room with a smile on his face, happy, with high hopes that today will be a good day.

7. Int. Office/Ben's desk. Day

    He sits at his desk, (back shot), begin to work.

Cut to

8. Int. Office/Ben's Desk. Night

        He's sleeping at his desk. Exhausted after a long day of work. His desk is messy with documents and folders. He wakes up to an already dark office. His monitor screen illuminating the scene. He looks around and see people already left and only his colleague, Tim, working tirelessly next to him. After exchanging a few words, Ben tidy up his desk and leave for the day.

9. Ext. Sidewalk/Business Center, Night.

    He walks slowly to the train station.

10. Int. Train station/platform. Night

    The train arrive. While he's waiting for the train to stop, he notices Mia, sleeping at the seating area. He slowly approach her and wakes her up. They enter the train together. (back shot)

Cut to

11. Int. Train Station/Platform. Day

     (Back shot) Ben falls backward, He gets up right away and try again to pull Mia out of the train until he finally succeed. And they sprint to their offices, like every other day.

12. MONTAGE

    A few days montage of Ben and his friends repeating their tiring days, going to work, tirelessly working, over and over.

13. Int. Restaurant. Night.

    In the chinese restaurant, at the round table. a group of five is waiting for their foods.....while sleeping. Other people are staring at them while all five of them are just so tired to even wait for their meal.

    The middle age waitress slams the plates on the table, waking them up from their sleep. Their foods arrived and the boys wait no times to feast while the ladies check on themself first in the mirror, wiping of their drools.

    While they eat, they reminisce on their old days, regretting the facts that they didn't try harder in life and only like to have fun back then.

14. Ext. Sidewalk. Night.

    They're walking together to the train station. Lim stop by to check out the car from the window of the dealership, telling he will have enough money soon to buy it and can finally escape the morning train rush hour hell.

15. Int. In the train. Night.

    All four of them are sleeping, except Ben in the middle. He's just staring aimlessly, looking at the window, at the reflection of himself. Suddenly a very bright light appears from the outside, blinding his eyes. The sound of clock ticking echoing, so loud that it's hurting his ears. He tries to wake his friends up but they are dead asleep. The trains brakes all of the sudden. Loud screeching sound of the wheel are echoing in the tunnel, making him pressing both of his palm harder against his ears. In the middle of the train, he's standing there with both hand on his ears and his eyes shut.

    Suddenly it stops, everything stops. The loud noises and the train has already stop. He opens his eyes and see daylight coming through the opened door. People are coming in and taking their seat. He looks back but at his friend but they are no longer there. Shocked, he search around calling for his friend but they're nowhere to be seen. The door closes, and the train move again, with him standing in the middle of the train, confused of what just happened.

END OF CHAPTER 1

        How's that? I think that's quite good. I'm sorry if you cannot understand this treatment. This is how i normally begin writing my stories. I imagine the scene in my head, like a film sequence, fully edited and everything.

    I will begin writing the first chapter as soon as i can. I'm also eagerly waiting to see how this story will turn out, because like you guys, i don't even know what's gonna happen next.

    Stay tuned.